Let’s dish on honeymoon sex. You know, that intense bond after months of anticipation.
Honeymoon sex usually happens when the relationship is still somewhat on the new side - or at least the nuptials are. Honeymoon sex usually means you’re riding on the energy that comes from a new relationship. Sex still feels fun, fresh, and whoa so exciting.
Fast-forward a few years, though, and things feel, well, different. Not as exciting. Not as fresh. Not as fun. Dare we call it (big gasp), stale?
The reasons why honeymoon sex fades are completely normal. As our connection grows, the novelty factor wears off. Bedtime routines and going through the motions might make you think, “What happened to being wild lovers? No more ripping each others’ clothes off? Am I bored? Why?”
Take a deep breath. If you‘ve had those thoughts, it’s not a sign that there’s something wrong with you, or your relationship. It just means that it’s time to spice things up. And, whether you’ve been married for 30 years or haven’t tied the knot, you can get back into the honeymoon spirit. It just takes a little resolution.
5 Steps to Honeymoon Sex
No expensive party or fancy resort needed. With the right prep and mindset, you can replicate honeymoon sex at home. Here’s a quick start guide.
1. Hit the pause button before having sex
Heard of living together but living apart? It’s a trend that’s been growing for a decade or so. Couples live apart together (LAT) for a bunch of reasons, including more autonomy and flexibility. But here’s another perk. When you see each other, you’re excited.
Just think, a little space lets you miss each other. Which is part of the excitement of honeymoon sex. A thrilling encounter. Already living together? Experiment by sleeping in different rooms for one night. Oh, the sexual tension. Btw, you may not be in the same room, but nobody says you can’t sext.
2. Prep your bedroom
Ready for action? Start with a clean room. Yeah, it’s work. But, it’s worth it. Think fresh sheets. No clutter to move. Tasty chocolates on the pillows (just for fun).
Several studies conducted over the years have proven that having a clean room is good for your mental health. When your room is tidy, you’re less stressed, more relaxed, and less prone to intrusive thoughts during sex. There's a reason why people love getting busy in hotels! It’s easier to chill without a bunch of random things lying around.
Want to take it a step further? You can turn your bedroom into a sex room. You can even get in the mood by shopping online together for erotic decor inspo.
3. Stir up your senses
Now that your bedroom is organized, it’s time for a sexy makeover.
Think spa and all the soothing techniques they use to give you a sense of calm. Music, candles, essential oils… sensory sex helps you turn off your brain. And, turn on your body.
Ever heard of the parasympathetic nervous system? In a nutshell, it helps your body go into a “rest and digest” state. That’s where you want to be for sex. Your body and brain involuntarily do the yeoman’s job of shipping blood downstream to your genitals, making them erect and/or more sensitive to touch.
4. Erotic massage? Bring it.
Since we’re talking spas, let’s talk massage. Erotic massage is primo foreplay. It’s an awesome way to release your happy and reward hormones, serotonin and dopamine. Which gets your head in a good place for sex. Best of all, massage can evolve. Breast and nipple stim, oral sex, finger penetration…
So here’s a tip. Don’t wait until vacay for erotic massages. Cue music, light some candles, get out the massage oil, and take turns being the masseuse.
5. Be open to adventure
Let’s face it, we love the novelty of honeymoon sex. The new setting, being just married… it’s all very romantic and exciting. If you’ve been a couple for a while, though, novelty can be the number one factor contributing to enduring sexual excitement. Don’t you want some of that?
Try wearing something new that makes you feel ooh la la. Or, test out a new move in bed. No need to go crazy. But, it is time to explore. Wearable vibrators that stimulate you both, a tasty flavored lube, a light fantasy enactment, sexy masseuse (with an accent)? Play and explore!
You can borrow other tricks from real honeymoons, like fluffy bathrobes, room service, rose petals… but try these five first. They’ll give you a sample of sexy you can try at home. And don’t forget to sleep late in the morning!