Between travel plans, family dinners, and the endless stream of group chats, the holidays can feel like a marathon. Even for the most grounded among us, this season can be overwhelming — and intimacy is often the first thing to fall off the list.
“The holidays are a time of increased stress for many people. There are many expectations during this time,” says Krista Walker, the Director of The Ohana Luxury Treatment Center, explains, “This can cause us to feel overwhelmed, and intimacy to be put on the back burner. Intimacy goes out the window when a person is overwhelmed and stressed.”
Whether you celebrate Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Christmas, Yule, or just a much-needed break from the family group chat, here’s how to keep intimacy alive, whatever that looks like for you.
1. Redefine What “Intimacy” Means
When your calendar is packed and energy is low, it’s easy to assume intimacy has to mean sex. But intimacy can be emotional, spiritual, or physical, and sometimes it’s as simple as being present.
“When energy is low, focus on the small things,” says Walker. “This could be taking short walks together or binge-watching Netflix. Anything that helps you relax and enjoy each other’s company.”
The goal isn’t to force closeness — it’s to make space for connection in ways that actually feel nourishing. A cup of cocoa on the couch, hands intertwined, maybe with a little Mood Maker Body Oil warming your skin — that’s intimacy too.
2. Find Power in the Little Moments
You don’t need an elaborate date night or a weekend getaway to reconnect.
“Small moments matter,” Walker reminds us. “Cooking dinner together or just checking in with each other nightly before bed — these small things can help couples feel close.”
Maybe that looks like lighting a candle while wrapping gifts, taking a ten-minute cuddle break, or sending a quick text that says, I love you, and I’m grateful for you. Those tiny moments can build the bridge back to intimacy.
And if those little moments turn into something more, Mini Escape is there to make things smooth, sensual, and stress-free. Comfort and connection should go hand in hand.
3. Honor Both Togetherness and Alone Time
When everyone’s fighting for your attention — you know, the million family, friends, partners, and even coworkers trying to plan the office holiday party — it’s easy to forget that rest is also a connection.
“Wanting time alone is not selfish,” Walker emphasizes. “Also, wanting time with your partner is not selfish either. Both of those things are valid and important.”
Check in with yourself about what kind of energy you actually have to give. Then, communicate that honestly. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for your relationship is to take a solo night to recharge — so you can come back with more to give.
And if solo time turns into self-pleasure time, Playground’s Date Night or Love Sesh lubricants can help you reconnect with your body.
4. Communicate With Curiosity
When you’re running on empty, communication can get tense, or worse, disappear altogether.
“Approach the conversation with curiosity,” Walker advises. “Ask questions like, ‘How can I support you?’ Create a space that is open for communication.”
That gentle, open-ended approach works whether you’re navigating one relationship or several (I’m looking at you, non-monogamous folks.)
“Communication and transparency are vital in polyamorous relationships,” she adds. “During the holidays, it can become more complicated when multiple families are involved. Discussing expectations can help reduce stress.”
Talking about plans, boundaries, and needs before the chaos hits can keep everyone feeling seen and supported. Bonus tip: Try starting these conversations during a cozy night in — think candlelight, matching pajamas, maybe even a little Free Love lube within reach if the talk turns flirty.
5. Let Touch Be Simple
Physical intimacy doesn’t have to mean full-on sex. Sometimes, what your body and mind need most is soft, grounding contact.
“A gentle touch can help relieve stress,” says Walker. “It lowers cortisol, the stress hormone. It doesn’t have to be sexual — even a non-sexual touch, like a hug, helps lower stress. It’s a simple way to stay close with your partner during the stressful holiday season.”
So, hold hands in the kitchen. Kiss good morning. Trade back rubs after wrapping gifts. Small gestures can reset your nervous system and help your partner feel loved and safe.
6. Rebuild, If You’ve Drifted
If things feel off lately, you’re not alone. Stress, travel, and family dynamics can easily create distance, but it’s never too late to reconnect.
“If intimacy has taken a hit, be honest with your partner,” says Walker. “Let them know how you feel. Talk about things you can do to rebuild intimacy and commit to taking action.”
And remember, intimacy isn’t just about physical closeness.
“Make sure you are focused on emotional intimacy as well,” she adds. “That is as important as physical.”
If resentment or silence starts to creep in, see it as a signal — not a failure.
“When you stop talking to your partner, that is a sign or red flag of disconnection in the relationship,” Walker cautions. “Also, if you feel resentment, then it’s time to work on the connection. And that might be with the help of a therapist.”
Even a small ritual, like massaging each other’s hands or touching them on the small of their back, can be a grounding, sensual way to reestablish closeness while you work through the tough stuff.
7. Keep Pleasure Playful
Remember: The holidays can feel heavy, but pleasure doesn’t have to. Light a candle, turn on your favorite playlist, and grab your favorite Playground product to help ‘glide’ the way.
Whether it’s a quickie before a party, solo self-care under the covers, or a lazy morning of connection, pleasure can be a powerful antidote to stress, and a reminder that you deserve softness, even in chaos.
The truth is, there’s no perfect formula for intimacy. Especially during a busy, emotionally charged season. But as Walker reminds us, it’s not about doing more; it’s about slowing down enough to notice what really matters.
Because no matter what or how you celebrate, connection — with yourself, your partners, and your pleasure — is worth making time for.
