Let’s be honest: most men want to make their partners feel amazing in the bedroom. But if you’ve ever wondered “Am I doing this right?” or “What does she actually want?”, you’re not alone.
Men are (surprisingly) candid about how confusing women’s pleasure can sometimes feel — and how much they genuinely want to get it right. The good news? Women are talking, and men are listening. The even better news? With open communication and the right tools, you can get on the same wavelength.
And science even says that having great sex is directly linked with how well you can communicate about time between the sheets.
Here’s what men are saying they wish they understood better — plus how Playground products (that’s us!) can support you both in building comfort, trust, and real connection.
1. Women Aren’t Mind Readers (and Neither Are Men)
One of the most common frustrations men share in their circles is simply not knowing what their partners want:
“Nobody wants to play ‘guess what’s in my head’ with you. Use your words,” Alex, 52* says, “The best way to get something you want or need from us is to just tell us.”
The truth? Women feel the exact same way. Guesswork creates pressure on both sides.
Takeaway: Ask her what feels good. Invite her to tell you what doesn’t. It’s not awkward—it’s sexy.
Playground Tip: Try bringing out Mood Maker Intimacy Oil during foreplay. It’s a great excuse to pause and say: “I want to try this on you—how does it feel?” Asking questions while adding touch creates an easy flow of feedback.
2. Foreplay Isn’t Extra—It’s Essential
Plenty of men admit they underestimate how much time women need to get turned on:
“Men actually want to communicate more during sex…” Clayton, 45* says, “Tell me what I’m doing wrong/should change to make you feel good.”
Communication IS key! For women, foreplay isn’t a warm-up lap — it’s part of the race. Their bodies and minds need time to sync up before things feel truly pleasurable.
Takeaway: Slow down. Touch her everywhere but where she expects. Let tension build.
Playground Tip: Upgrade your foreplay with Date Night—a silky, champagne-and-vanilla scented lube that turns touch into indulgence. Sensory play helps her body and brain get into the mood.
3. Comfort = Confidence
Many men say they don’t realize how often women experience pain or discomfort during sex. Vaginal dryness, irritation, or anxiety about pain are much more common than they think:
“I wish I knew if sex was comfortable for her, or if sometimes it hurts, because I’ve had my female friends say sometimes it can,” Daniel* 37 says, “I want to know how I can help make sex better for her, not just me.”
Takeaway: If she pulls back, or needs extra time, don’t take it personally. It’s often physical, not emotional. Make comfort your priority. Ask her how she feels!
Playground Tip: Keep Free Love Serum nearby. It’s an ultra-gentle, water-based formula designed to reduce irritation and ease dryness. The more comfortable she feels, the more confident she’ll be opening up.
4. Arousal Is a Process, Not a Switch
Men often describe feeling confused when their partners aren’t instantly ready for sex:
Women like Meg* 31, say “I want to be seduced…” While her boyfriend, Jacob* 34, says he doesn’t often know when she’s feeling that way, and wants to know how to really get her turned on. To seduce her in the way she needs — not just what he thinks she might want.
Here’s the truth: Women’s arousal doesn’t always follow the same linear path. Emotional connection, mood, and environment all play a role.
Takeaway: Don’t rush. Think of arousal as setting the scene, not flipping a switch. Take your time! Ask her what she does and doesn’t like.
Playground Tip: Scents can be powerful triggers. Light candles and add After Hours (musk + oud). The sensory experience helps shift her mindset into a more erotic space.
5. It’s About Connection, Not Just Climax
One of the most surprising admissions from men online? They often feel pressure to “make her come,” but they don’t always know how. And when it doesn’t happen, they worry they’ve failed. Women say this pressure can backfire:
“Sex should be fun even before the orgasm… moan,” Ryan*, 40 tells us,” We like it. We aren’t worried about how you’ll sound, we want to hear how turned on you are.”
Takeaway: Stop focusing on performance. Focus on presence. If she’s laughing, moaning, or saying “don’t stop”—you’re doing it right.
Playground Tip: Keep the vibe easy and playful with Mini Escape (coconut + sandalwood). Its tropical scent and glide remind you both that intimacy can be fun, not just a test.
Here’s the TL/DR
If you’ve ever thought, “I just wish I knew what she really wanted,” you’re in good company. Men around the world are asking the same questions—and women are eager to share their answers.
The key? Listen. Ask. Slow down. And when in doubt, add tools that help her body feel comfortable and her mind feel relaxed. That’s where Playground comes in: intimacy oils and lubricants designed to reduce friction, spark sensation, and bring you both closer together.
Because the best sex isn’t about tricks—it’s about trust.
Pro tip for couples: Want an easy conversation starter? Bring out a new lube, hand it to her, and say: “I want to try this with you—tell me what feels best.” Suddenly, you’re both co-creating pleasure instead of guessing.
