January has a way of making even the most self-assured women feel like a before photo.
Everywhere you look, there’s an invitation to optimize: your body, your routine, your ambition, your emotional regulation. New year, new you — but quieter, thinner, more productive, less messy. The cultural script for resolutions hasn’t changed much over the years, and for women, it often comes loaded with pressure disguised as self-improvement.
And yet, so many of us start the year already exhausted.
Women of all ages admit they already feel behind, not just on their goals, but on themselves.
According to Dr. Suzanne Wallach — a licensed psychotherapist and the Executive Director of SoCal DBT — traditional resolutions don’t just fail women practically. They often fail us emotionally.
“If or when you ‘fail’ your resolution, it’s easy to spiral into shame, anxiety, or negative self-talk,” she explains. “The most common resolutions are also framed around fixing something wrong, usually about the body or your productivity, instead of adding something to your life that feels nourishing.”
For women, who are already navigating a loud inner critic, resolutions can quietly reinforce the idea that we are not enough as we are.
“Women struggle with a strong inner critic as is, and the idea of having a New Year’s resolution only adds to this,” Dr. Wallach says. “Instead of motivating you to change for the better, sometimes these resolutions quietly reinforce, ‘I’m not enough as I am.’ And then when you inevitably experience a misstep or setback, it can feel like you’ve failed.”
Here at Playground, we want women to feel empowered as they enter 2026, at every age. With advice from Wallach, we’ve got you covered on what you might be feeling, and more importantly, how to approach it, below.
In Your 20s: “I just don’t want to be behind.”
Women in their 20s often describe resolutions as a way to prove they’re on the “right” timeline. One woman in her mid-20s shared with us that she set a goal to wake up at 6 a.m. every day, work out, and meal prep, and by January 3rd, sleeping through her alarm sent her into a spiral about being “lazy” and “already failing adulthood.”
Dr. Wallach sees this pressure often.
“Women in their 20s tend to set goals related to their career trajectory, health, and relationships, namely as a way to ensure they are on the ‘right’ timeline.”
The underlying fear isn’t about missing a workout. It’s about missing the life you think you’re supposed to be living by now.
In Your 30s: “I’m afraid of wasting another year.”
For women in their 30s, resolutions might seem even heavier than those in their 20s. One woman told us that her goal for the year was to “finally get my life together,” before realizing how vague (and maybe self-deprecating?) that felt. When asking other thirty-somethings about New Year’s Resolutions, they admit their resolutions were driven by fear of regret: What if I don’t change now? What if I run out of time?
“In their 30s and 40s, I see women more wanting to avoid feelings of regret or failure,” Dr. Wallach explains.
Instead of motivation, resolutions can start to feel like emotional ultimatums: This year has to count.
In Your 40s: “I’m tired of chasing a version of myself.”
Women in their 40s often talk less about becoming someone new and more about the exhaustion of trying to catch up to who they thought they’d be. Can you relate? One 41-year-old shared with us that her resolutions weren’t about adding habits, but rather, stopping decisions rooted in fear and comparison.
This is often when women begin questioning whether their goals actually belong to them or to a past version shaped by external expectations.
In Midlife and Beyond: “I want my energy back.”
Among women in their 50s and 60s, things definitely shift! Resolutions look less like ambition and more like setting boundaries. Women talk about protecting their energy, saying no without explaining, and doing less without guilt.
Dr. Wallach sees this as a return to self after years of caregiving, labor, or emotional responsibility.
“In midlife, it’s common for women to go inward a bit more and really come back to themselves, especially after years of caregiving if that’s the path they took.”
They’re finally choosing themselves.
Self-Care vs. Self-Criticism: How to Tell the Difference
Across all ages, one pattern shows up again and again: women mistaking self-criticism for discipline.
“A genuine self-care resolution is rooted in the desire to support yourself, while a self-critical goal is about fixing or getting rid of something you dislike about yourself,” Dr. Wallach suggests, “True self-care will feel nourishing, grounding, loving, and will also be flexible and leave room for setbacks.”
For example, “I want to focus on getting great sleep because I deserve to feel rested” lands very differently than “I’m going to wake up at 5:30am every morning.”
“When you miss a rigid goal like that, it’s much easier to spiral into shame or start punishing yourself.”
A feel-good resolution doesn’t tighten the leash. It gives you room to be human.
The Habit Worth Quitting This Year
If there’s one thing Dr. Wallach encourages women to stop doing in the new year, it’s this:
“Stop using shame as a motivator.”
Shame, she explains, is deeply counterproductive.
“Shame fuels so many negative behaviors, including disordered eating/eating disorders, addiction, self-harm, people-pleasing, and burnout. Many women believe being hard on themselves keeps them in line, but clinically, it’s the opposite. Shame actually makes people avoid, dissociate, or give up altogether.”
A Little Support for the Year Ahead (That Feels Good, Too)
If a woman could set just one intention for the year to support long-term emotional health, Dr. Wallach keeps it simple.
“Letting go of perfectionism, people-pleasing, or self-punishment are all great ideas and powerful mental health upgrades for 2026.”
If this year is less about punishing yourself and more about supporting yourself, small tools that help you feel comfortable, connected, and cared for can be meaningful companions, not performance metrics. Playground’s lineup is built around exactly that ethos: pleasure as care, comfort as wellness, and connection as nourishment.
Try Free Love, a lubricant formulated to be extra gentle on sensitive tissue and help reduce common issues like irritation or post-sex discomfort. Or some other Playground faves — from Miracle Melts to intimacy oils and toys — exist for similar reasons: to make your body (and mind) feel good, your nervous system calm, and your connections with yourself and others more joyful, without shame or pressure.
As January unfolds and the pressure to reinvent yourself starts to fade, consider this: the most radical resolution you can set may be one that doesn’t demand transformation at all, but meeting yourself where you are. Even in pleasure.
And that intention? It works in January. And February. And every ordinary, imperfect month after that.
