If sex has ever felt more painful than pleasurable, you are absolutely not alone. Pain during intercourse affects a significant number of women at some point in their lives, and yet most of us don't talk about it. We grit our teeth, make excuses, or just avoid sex altogether.
The truth? Pain after having intercourse, or during, almost always has a real, identifiable cause. And once you know what's going on, you can actually do something about it. So let's walk through the most common reasons why sexual intercourse is painful for women and what can help.
Why Is Sexual Intercourse Painful?
Painful sex (the medical term is dyspareunia) can show up in different ways. Some women feel burning during sex, others feel a deep ache, and some experience sharp pain in specific positions. The prevalence of dyspareunia ranges from 3% to 18% worldwide and can affect 10% to 28% of women in a lifetime [1].
Where and when you feel the pain matters. Superficial pain at the vaginal entrance often points to different causes than deep pain felt during full penetration. Here are the most common culprits.
Not Enough Lubrication
Probably the single most common reason why your vagina hurts during sex. When you're not producing enough natural moisture, friction increases and every movement can feel uncomfortable or downright painful. Stress, medications, hormonal shifts, and even not enough foreplay can all reduce your body's natural lubrication.
A quality water-based lubricant makes an immediate difference here. Keep one on your nightstand so you never have to power through discomfort.
Hormonal Changes
Perimenopause, menopause, postpartum recovery, and breastfeeding all drop your estrogen levels. Lower estrogen means thinner, drier vaginal tissue that is much more prone to irritation during sex. If you've noticed burning during sex alongside other signs of hormonal shifts, your estrogen levels are likely playing a role.
Using a hydrating vaginal insert regularly can help restore moisture to vaginal tissue, making sex more comfortable over time.
Pelvic Floor Muscle Tension
Sometimes the muscles around your vagina involuntarily tighten, making penetration painful or even impossible. Stress, anxiety about pain, or past trauma can all contribute to pelvic floor tension. Pelvic floor physical therapy can be incredibly effective for this.
Infections and Skin Conditions
Yeast infections, bacterial vaginosis, UTIs, and skin conditions like lichen sclerosus can all make sex painful. If you're also dealing with unusual discharge, odor, or visible irritation, see your healthcare provider to rule out an infection first.
Endometriosis and Deeper Causes
Why does your uterus hurt during sex? Or why does your cervix hurt after sex? Deep pain during penetration can signal endometriosis, ovarian cysts, uterine fibroids, or pelvic inflammatory disease. Pain that gets worse in certain positions or at specific times in your cycle is worth discussing with your gynecologist.
Why Does Sex Hurt in Certain Positions?
Some positions allow deeper penetration, which can put pressure on the cervix or sensitive pelvic structures. If certain angles hurt, your body is telling you something. Switching positions, using pillows for support, and communicating with your partner can help you find what feels good.
What to Do When Sex Hurts
You don't have to accept painful sex as your reality. Here are practical steps that actually help.
Use the Right Lubricant
A personal lubricant reduces friction and can make sex significantly more comfortable. Look for a formula that's pH-balanced and free of irritants like glycerin, parabens, and fragrances. For enhanced sensation and longer-lasting glide, an intimacy oil with botanicals can support arousal alongside comfort.
Prioritize Foreplay
Arousal increases blood flow to the vagina, which triggers natural lubrication. Rushing into penetration before your body is ready is one of the most common reasons sex feels uncomfortable. Take your time.
Address Vaginal Dryness Daily
If dryness is ongoing, a vaginal moisturizer used regularly (not just before sex) can gradually improve tissue hydration and elasticity. Think of it like skincare for your vagina.
Talk to Your Doctor
Persistent pain during orgasm, muscle soreness after sex, or groin pain after intercourse that doesn't improve with lubricant and lifestyle changes deserves medical attention. Your healthcare provider can check for infections, hormonal imbalances, endometriosis, and pelvic floor dysfunction.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy has also shown promising results in reducing the anxiety and fear that can develop around painful sex [1].
Better Intimate Health, Better Intimacy with Playground
Pain during sex is common, but that doesn't mean you should just live with it. Playground's clinically-tested, hormone-free formulas are designed to help your body feel comfortable and ready for pleasure. Whether it's daily hydration with Miracle Melts or the right lubricant for the moment, small changes can make a big difference.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Q. Is it normal for sex to hurt every time?
No. Occasional discomfort can happen, but consistent pain during intercourse signals something that needs attention. Causes range from simple dryness to pelvic floor tension or infections, and most are treatable with the right approach.
Q. Why does my vagina burn when I pee after sex?
Friction during sex can irritate the urethra, causing temporary burning with urination. Using enough lubricant during sex reduces this friction. If burning persists beyond a day or comes with cloudy urine, see your doctor to rule out a UTI.
Q. Can lube actually help with painful sex?
Yes. Insufficient lubrication is one of the top reasons sex hurts. A pH-balanced, water-based lubricant reduces friction and protects delicate vaginal tissue from microtears that cause discomfort.
Q. When should I see a doctor about painful sex?
See a healthcare provider if pain is persistent, worsening, accompanied by bleeding, or if over-the-counter solutions like lubricants aren't helping. Pain during deep penetration also warrants evaluation for conditions like endometriosis.
Q. Does painful sex get worse with age?
Not necessarily. Hormonal changes during perimenopause and menopause can increase vaginal dryness and tissue thinning, which may cause discomfort. But with consistent use of vaginal moisturizers and lubricants, many women maintain comfortable, enjoyable sex well into their later years.
References:
[1] Tayyeb M, Gupta V. Dyspareunia. StatPearls.
