“It’s Friday night babe. Wanna do the usual?”
If you’ve ever heard these words before – or uttered them yourself – may we make a suggestion?
Don’t do it.
You heard us. Break out of your routine. Do something unusual, because spice is the variety of life…as well as the spice of your sex life. In fact, when it comes to sex specifically, you can build arousal into the date experience itself. Why? Because doing so jumpstarts your sexual response cycle. Also, because it’s fun. Tell us: what’s more intriguing? Going to your same ol’ dinner spot? Or making fondue together at home, tasting warm, melted cheese in your mouth…then, licking the chocolate off each other?
Thought that might get your attention. Here are ten date night ideas designed to create intimacy, build tension, and set you up for sex-cess.
Get active: Take a forest stroll
Wholesome enough! You’ve got your Patagonia on, your footsteps crunching through the leaves. Maybe you’re even holding hands, as you take in the seasonal splendor. Except, wait – what’s that? A tree, perfect to lean on…then to make out against…while they press on your hips.
Suddenly, you forget all about those leaves.
In truth, doing something heart-pumping together is a great way to hack your arousal. Your brain associates your beating heart with your present company, and as you breathe harder, that oxygenated blood will eventually reach your genitals. Looks like this sweet date got a little naughty.
Get shocked: Do a cold dip
Cold dips are trendy right now, and as the name suggests, it literally involves a brief dip into chilly waters. In theory, cold water immersion shocks the system (in a good way) to fight inflammation, reduce stress, and possibly boost your immunity…but in our eyes? The biggest benefit is what happens after.
Just imagine emerging at water’s surface, wrapping yourself up in a towel, and clinging to each other for warmth. Better hold each other close…for a very long time. Maybe a fireside chat would help those shivers. Maybe a bed would, too.
Get suggestive: Make fondue
The afore-mentioned date idea is classic for a reason, and not just because it’s a nifty way to cook your food. No, fondue is sexy because of the way you eat it: dripping chocolate-covered strawberries in your mouth, sucking the excess off your fingers…or maybe, each other’s fingers.
I think we can all agree that the hot, sticky, gooey mouthfeel of fondue is a sexier dining experience than, say, a salad. So skip your virtuous dinner. Make a decadent pot of cheese (or chocolate), and make mealtime more sensual.
Get intellectual: Arthouse theater
Is it just me, or is the character on-screen tackling postmodern gender norms in a way that challenges our current understanding of linguistics and identity, all with a narrative structure that defies convention?
…who knows. But if you’re the type that gets aroused by great conversation, you just may be a sapiosexual: someone who’s attracted to smarts. So ditch the superhero flick, and stretch your brains together. Or go the extra mile, and pick a psychological thriller: perfect to get your hearts racing.
Get competitive: Old skool arcade
Truly, arcades are the unsung hero of date night – especially if you’re the type that likes to game-ify your hang. Plus, it’s cold-weather friendly: you’re inside!
Add some stakes, and make it a friendly competition. The first one to win Dance Dance Revolution gets their favorite pleasure in bed. Don’t like dancing? That’s OK, you can go hard with Pac-Man and flex that way.
Get clingy (on purpose): Haunted house
Another way to get your blood pumping? Scaring yourselves – and hanging onto each other for dear life.
Haunted houses combine several arousing properties all into one. Ample suspense. Fake zombies jumping out at you. Smoked-filled rooms engineered to make you scream…especially when a cold hand grazes your shoulder. Just remember to save some screams for later, when you’re home safe – and the only hands touching you belong to your lover.
Get teased: Burlesque show
One of the most sex-positive dance forms out there, burlesque combines a hint of drag showmanship, with a heavy dose of skin. As a more coquettish form of strip, burlesque is all about the tease: slowly taking off one item of clothing at a time, like gloves or thigh highs, until only pasties and rhinestones remain.
We like burlesque for its inspiration. Watching the confidence ooze out of the performers, you can more easily imagine yourself in their shoes, putting on a show for your partner. And let’s be honest: there’s something pretty hot about watching a knowing performer, seducing you both from their perch on the stage.
Get incognito: Costume party
And now…a little role play. Because somehow, it’s just easier to shed the stresses of life when you’re dressed up as a wanton vampire.
Throw a soiree for friends at your house, and create a playlist equal parts spooky and vibey. Yes, “The Monster Mash” is OK – but don’t limit yourself to Halloween classics. Add in bass-driven beats that help guests sink into the topsy-turvy mood of it all. This is a great opportunity to play group games (murder mystery, charades, etc.) that get everyone into a playful frame of mind. When your guests leave, who says you have to break character? Give their neck a little nibble, you bad vampire you.
Get educated: Hire a dominatrix
Getting into more explicitly sexual territory, you could crank things up to a “10” by hiring a professional dominatrix, either for the two of you and a group…or, just you as a couple. You’ll learn kink techniques ranging from tame (feather play, blindfolds, etc.) to edgy (spanks, temperature play, etc.) – but more importantly, you’ll learn the art of power dynamics, where one of you dominates the sexual experience, and one of you submits to the pleasure.
While it may sound out-there, today’s dominatrix party is yesterday’s stripper party: you now see them at bachelorette get-togethers, where guests learn kink skills from a pro. And those are lessons that last a lifetime.
Get ideas: Watch erotica
Because you can always turn Movie Night R-rated. Look up lists of the hottest sex scenes to grace the silver screen, and choose one together that piques your interest. Pro tip, the ‘90s were practically swimming in erotic thrillers: Basic Instinct, Disclosure, The Last Seduction. Note to film industry: can we revive this genre? Please?
Whatever you do on your next date night, the keyword is this: play. Couples who play together, stay together, and when you break out of convention to get a little exploratory, amazing things can result. More arousal, for one. More pleasure, for another.