It’s time to get real about when we get intimate. Work stress, keeping the house organized, and taking care of the kids can seriously take a toll on sexy time. After a long day, it can be tough to get in the mood. That’s why it’s important that we’re intentional about fitting intimacy into our lives and relationships. Think about it. Why save all the fun for the weekends? Wouldn’t it be nice if every day had a happy ending? So, here you go. A bunch of tips to transform you from “oh, so tired” to “let’s get jiggy” with a sexy routine you’ll look forward to at the end of the day.
1. Transform your bedroom
Check out your bedroom. Does it make you feel stressed, or does it make you feel calm? Thinking of your bedroom as a relaxing retreat rather than a designated sleep space helps set the mood. Designing your space to foster intimacy allows you and our partner to create a sanctuary that brings you together. Here are some ways to free your bedroom of distractions and prepped for pleasure.
Keep it clean
Who wants to interrupt the fun to toss dirty clothes off the bed? And what about that stack of bills? Mood killers! Straighten up your bedroom to get rid of distractions and get ready for pleasure.
Change up your space and get in vacation mode with crisp sheets, vogue linens, and sensual fragrances that drive your senses wild. Check out the latest candles made out of natural oils (think shea butter, Vitamin E, and aloe) that let you use the warm wax to give each other massages. You know that lovely feeling when you slip between the sheets at a fancy boutique hotel? That’s what we’re going after here.
Create a no-phone zone
Know the fastest way to kill the moment? Stop what you’re doing to answer your phone or respond to a text. Now that’s a real deal breaker. Apps and notifications eat up enough of your attention during the day. Agree with your partner to silence your phones and put them somewhere else (anywhere but the bedroom!) at night. Swapping screen time for in-person face time sets healthy boundaries that help you foster intimacy.
Make a sexy playlist
Have some “go-to” songs that always turn you on? Compile them and make a playlist. Even better, do it together. Slow jams, sultry songs, anything goes! You can even put Alexa to work and see what she comes up with when you ask for a “low-key, seductive playlist.”
2. Get ready for bed
Time to get ready for bed? Do it together. Start with a sensual bath or lather each other up in the shower. Enjoy each other’s touch and give each other relaxing massages if you’re into it. Then, it’s time to prep for bed. Even brushing your teeth side-by-side can be playful. Brushing your hair before bed? Let your partner do it. Who knew a brush or comb’s light stroke could be such a turn-on?
3. Dress (or underdress) for success
Are your go-to chill clothes looking a little too comfy? Consider some sexy undies. What a nice surprise to find under your favorite sweats. Now, that’s an excellent way to start some weekday foreplay! Not in the mood to shop? No worries. Slide your birthday suit under the sheets and see where the look takes you and your partner.
4. Have some go-to moves
Nah, you don’t need a formal list, but it’s always a good idea to have some sensual activities top of mind. Think of some you know you enjoy and some new ones on your want-to-try-out list. Coming up blank? Here are some ideas to get you started:
Start with a lovely sensual massage. It doesn’t matter who takes the lead. Just lay back and enjoy! I mentioned massage candles before. It’s so cool how the yummy-smelling wax drips so perfectly onto your hands and body. Remember to blow out the candle and do a temp check on your hands before you pour it on. When you know that the temperature is just right, you can knead your partner’s body at varying intensity. Then, you can decide whether to turn them on or head for a grand finale.
Get jazzed up with some erotic entertainment
Audio erotica, sexy movies… excitement and inspiration all in one! What a great way to relax in bed together. Love to read? Check out erotica short stories and take turns reading to each other.
Pleasure each other
Here’s a tip. Pleasuring each other is the perfect way to destress and connect. It doesn’t matter how. No matter how bad your day was or if you’re dreading what’s on tomorrow’s schedule, oral, mutual masturbation, sex, or even a marathon makeout session allows physical touch that brings you together.
Use role-playing to explore
Everyone has fantasies. Role-playing not only helps you explore them, but it also helps push you beyond the limits of what you usually do. You can start slow by playing with a new name or even deck out in a costume. Role-playing can push you and your partner out of your comfort zones. So, no matter how you go about it, remember that communication rules. Have fun brainstorming tougher, and set boundaries so you’re both on board. Not sure about this one? Check out my Beginner’s Guide to Role Play.
5. Start your day with some self-care
Here’s a secret. Want to know how to please your partner? Start by pleasing yourself. Healthy relationships need healthy partners. If you love and care for yourselves individually, you’ll be in a good place to come together. Need some tips to help you get on the right path? Check out The Sexiest Routine Ever.
6. Keep the ball rolling
Once you get started, you need to keep the momentum going. After all, you both deserve it! Ending the day on an intimate note may not just magically happen on its own. You may need to make it happen. That’s why a routine is helpful. Too tired? Been there. You don’t have to pass on pleasure completely though. Kick the lingerie to the curb and go au naturel. Consider switching out sexy time for something more lowkey but still sensual. It’s not all on you, though. Your partner can help keep it fresh. Ready to try something new? Try a mid-day text teasing what will be in store for later. Or a request for your partner’s hottest idea. Their response is guaranteed to get you looking forward to later, no matter how stressful your work day may be.